It's been two months since our last dive into the strange depths of Andrei/ey Arshavin's never-ending attempts to answer the queries posed to him by the strange visitors to his official website. Though Arshavin has slowed his pace in responding, the weirdness of the exchanges continues to grow.
Put on your protective suit, because we're doing this.
1. From arsenal11
Hi Andrey I have 3 questions for you! 1. How often do you play FIFA 10 in your spare time (there were rumors that you played with Vermalen)?
A.A.: We played with Vermalen at the filming of the commercial. The last time we played in pairs at the training camp. Gibbs and I beat somebody, I do not remember who, but we played really confidently.
I like to think this means they played wearing fake mustaches and trench coats.
7. From snakann
Hi, Andrey! I came across your photos on the internet not long ago, where you are wearing a stylish suit. It was rather unusual to see you in a suit. It suits you!
A.A.: Really? OK. Although, frankly, I rarely wear business suits and feel uncomfortable in them.
He much prefers wearing bodypaint.
8. From ArtemKa1993
Hi Andrey, I’ve been supporting you since I was 5 years old and now I’m 17 and I’ve been playing for the Moscovskaya Zastava team in St. Petersburg for the last 8 years. I live in Gatchina. Have you ever been here? And I can’t seem to understand your style of playing? Andrey, how many trainings do you have a week? How is your family doing? How is Artyom?
A.A.: Of course, I’ve been there. I even celebrated the New Year there. Only you are not telling the truth, you couldn’t support me since you were 5, I didn’t play for Zenit 12 years ago.
HA! Andrey is too smart for your tricks, ArtemKa1993! Also, how is, "I can't seem to understand your style of playing?" a question? Arshavin smartly skipped over that one (plus the ones asking about his family and, more specifically creepy, his son) because it's giving me a headache.
9. From Polovinka
Good evening, Andrey. Good luck in the upcoming games; I wish you health and all the best. Q: What are you doing tomorrow evening?
A.A.: Training with the national team.
It's a good thing Arshiven had plans. If he was free, Polovinka's follow-up question would have most certainly been, "Would you like to join me for dinner in the cage I made for you?"
15. From orikorik
Hi, how are you doing? I’m your biggest fan from Uzbekistan. Where are you going to play after Arsenal?
A.A.: What’s the purpose of your question?
Nefarious! Definitely nefarious! Or, you know, maybe orikorik is just curiouscurious.
18. From Vladlena1
Hello, Andrey. My question concerns the World Cup – 2010. It is as follows: "Did you congratulate your teammate Cesc Fabregas on winning the Champion of the World title? And how did you do it?” Thank you in advance for your attention to my question. Lada. Ramenskoye.
A.A.: We all congratulated him. How? Simply said: «Congratulations!»
...while staining his underpants with tomato sauce and giggling.
24. From danilka937
Did you play football better than anyone else in your childhood?
A.A.: Sometimes.
Nope. He never played football better than anyone else in his childhood, danilka937. Which is why he's a professional footballer today.
25. From BaHeK34
Hello, I am writing for the second time, I would like to know how to do to get out of the yard football and into a club considering that I’m a good footballer? Thanks!
A.A.: Everything is possible in this life.
That, uh, doesn't answer the question, Andrei.
30. From BaHeK34
Hello, Andrey! Do you sit on www.vkontakte.ru or not? And if not, why?
Thank you!
A.A.: I sit on my behind.
:))))))))))))))
31. From Rusia22
Hi, Andrey! I am from Ukraine, but I like the way you play. Could you please tell me if it’s possible to study in college and play football seriously at the same time?
A.A.: It’s possible at an amateur level. It’s also possible, while studying in college, not only play football, but also chase after girls.
Once again, "everything is possible in this life." Including chasing girls while playing football and studying.
1. From tokarenko200
Where do live right now?
A.A: Until October 4 in the country of Byron and Shakespeare. On October 4 I come back to the homeland of Pushkin and Dostoevsky.
THIS IS A RED FLAG QUESTION. STOP NAME-DROPPING WRITERS AND RUN, ANDREI!
3. From LeBiKa
Hello Andrey,I’m your biggest fan, but I’m also a fan of David Beckham! I have always had this question: I wonder what they think about each other? Unfortunately, I can’t ask Beckham, but I hope that you’ll respond. =) Lena
A.A: The paradox lies in the fact that we don’t think about each other ;)
Somewhere, David Beckham is regretting the time he's spent thinking about Andrey.
4. From Moonray
Hi, Andrey! Well, how can I make my dad be at least a little bit like you?? Sometimes I really hate him. How can I make him quit drinking and stop behaving so rude and aggressively?? It’s not like he drinks a lot but when he does….he can get at anybody. Of course, you're not a psychologist, but answer me something...
A.A.: In my opinion, he is like me in a way ;)
Wow. First of all, Moonray's line of questioning is bad news in about 35 different ways. Second, your jokes and emoticons probably aren't helping matters, Andrey.
5. From 23arshavin
Andrey, what’s your favorite car?
A.A.: I have no favorites so far. If there is an ad contract, then I’ll have a favorite.
19. From Vladlena1
Hello, Andrey. Could you please satisfy my curiosity, tell me what your favorite color is? :) Thank you in advance for your attention to my question. Lada. Ramenskoye.
A.A.: Black and red. Or as Kinchev sang: "Red on black."
Clearly Andrei must have ad contracts with both black and red.
6. From 233333
Hello Andrey! I admire your way of playing footballl ..What do you like besssides footballl?) And there is one more question: are you considering moving to some other club in the future? Are there going to be changes in the Russian national team?
A.A: FotbaLLL is on the first place. I like teNNNis beSSSides fotbaLLL ;)
ANDREI ARSHAVIN IS MOCKING YOU, 233333.
7. From cmb1023
What is your favorite number?
A.A.: Do you mean a circus number or may be a telephone or a car number? I prefer a bank card’s number.
...but only one that he has an ad contract with.
9. From Baluyka
Tell me your Skype, please.
A.A.: Sorry, I won’t.
So close, Baluyka. So close.
10. From Varlok
alert(/1/)
alert(/2/)
?.?. (/3/)
This might be the most terrifying question ever submitted to Arshavin's official site. I have no idea what it means. It can't be good.
11. From 199916
Good evening, Andrey, I love the way you play football and really want you to come to Koverino village this winter, it’s in the Nizhny Novgorod region.
A.A.: We have a championship at this time.
But if it weren't for that blasted championship, Andrey would totally come to your village, 199916. Totally.
12. From Agent47rus
Andrey, hello! My name is Andrey, I'm 28 years old. Please answer: Do you like sightseeing and outdoor recreation? If so, our family invites you to Vyborg for holidays! We know that you spend your holidays in St. Petersburg, so maybe you’ll find a day or two to visit us (I understand that this year you won’t manage to come). Good luck!
A.A: I have been to Vyborg many times. I went up to the top of your famous tower several times. I guess it used to be a chapel. Yes, exactly: "The Clock Tower". So I know your border town.
Translation: "I'm not going to visit your family, weirdo."
14. From urban1994
Andrey, please promise that you’ll score for the national team this time and start scoring more! I saw you scoring only twice when I watched live matches on TV. Come on, pull yourself together and start scoring goals ...
A.A.: Only 2 goals? I have to ask you to stop watching live matches with my participation, please. You’d better watch the repeats.
Stop cursing Andrey's national team performances, urban1994! It's all your fault! Only watch the repeats and only do that after drinking poison!
17. From dimaanna
Hello Andrey! Can you give me your Skype?
A.A.: You can download this program from internet ;)
Anothery attempt to figure out Andrey's Skype foiled by his superior wit. Perhaps dimaanna should try another line of questioning...
18. From dimaanna
Hello, Andrey! Please tell me if you’ll ever come to Syzran?
A.A.: To play? No.
Boom. Denied.
24. From Soffka
I’ve recently came across your picture in the 9th grade chemistry textbook (Chemistry, Grade 9, written by Gabrielian O.C., paragraph 16, p.95) It was a big surprise. They use your picture to study chemical elements in the human body. Do you feel flattered?
A.A: Really?
Andrei Arshavin is teaching your kids chemistry. But he still won't tell you his Skype.
Photo: AP
Related: Andrei Arshavin Q and A
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